Silent Screams (Part 11)

Hi. I am Inspector Karan,” the inspector said holding out his hand for Anandita to shake, “Dr. Awasthi called me up and told me everything that she knew. My team and I have come to get other details that you might be able to give us.” “If you don’t mind Inspector, I do not want to file any charges against anybody,” Anandita replied in a low and scared voice, “I am already in quite a mess and me filing charges is going to complicate things for me even more.” “What you’re doing is not right,” the inspector said, trying to control his anger, “If you’re quiet now, there is a very high probability that after you, your bullies are going to make someone else their target. Would you be okay with that?” The Inspector’s words made sense to her as she said that she was ready to give a written statement of what she faced in school.

Anandita started describing her school life.

“Though I will be giving a written statement later, let me just tell you from the beginning,” Anandita said, clearing her throat.  

“As you can see, because I am fat, I have invariably been labelled as being ugly. My self esteem has reached a new low and they gauge that. The other students do not actively bully me, but they do not want to speak to me. They shoo me away once they see me. It hurts but I am now used to it. A few months ago, during lunch break, to avoid a bunch of these ‘passive aggressive’ bullies, I rushed into the ladies’ washroom. When the bell finally rang for the classes to begin, I stepped out of the washroom and saw a message written on the wall- It was something along the lines of ‘beware Anandita…’ I do not remember the message fully, I think if we are lucky enough, you should find the message still on the wall of the girls’ washroom on the third floor. Initially, I thought it was just someone pranking on me. That’s not unusual. Then, a little while later, in the classroom, I felt something hit my head and fall near my feet on the first bench. I turned around to check who it was, but it seemed like everyone was engrossed in what the teacher was saying,” taking a deep breath, she said, “I want some water.”

While Anandita drank some water, the Inspector instructed two of his constables to go that particular girls’ washroom in the school. Anandita wiped her mouth as she kept the girl aside and spoke, “After the teacher left the class, I opened the tattered piece of paper to read. Just as I was about to read, Brian, a student from my class, snatched it from my hand, spit something on to it and threw it in the bin. My mind suddenly went to the message that I had read on the wall and thought that the note was also another reminder of the same. But, after that, nothing happened throughout the day. At home, I was chilling with my sister, trying to watch TV when our house phone rang and a voice asked to go to school. I did not quite recognize the voice. I ignored it once again, assuming it was another prank. Actually, there were two clear signs and I should have taken it.  I got another call. This time it was clearer. The voice asked me to go to school and warned of dire consequences if I didn’t go. I left for school in a jiffy so as not to put my self in any more danger that I already had. I entered the school campus and began to check if anyone was there. All the classroom doors were closed. So, I thought maybe it was indeed a prank. Just as I was about to turn around and leave, I saw a light at the end of the corridor. As I neared the light, I realised one classroom door was open. I went into the room and seeing the classroom empty I turned around to leave when my dress got caught in the door. I was so busy trying to take my dress out from the nail that I didn’t notice movement around. I looked up and saw a masked person when I heard, “Look who’s here finally?”  It was the same voice that I had heard when I got the call. “Who are you?”  I asked. Another person came looked at me in a weird way and then started dragging me through the corridor. He had a very tight grip on my hand. There was a tattoo on the wrist of his right hand.”

“What kind of a tattoo was it?” the Inspector asked, “Will you be able to describe it to our sketch artist?”

“I am sorry,” Anandita said, “Maybe later.  My memory isn’t very clear right now.”

The Inspector looked very irritated with this answer.

“With all due respect sir,” Anandita said looking up at the Inspector, “I am telling you everything that I remember. You have no right to be so irritated with me. If anything, I am supposed to be stressed and irritated because you are getting me to remember the traumatic experience. I am co – operating, am I not? I am not asking you to empathize with me because you clearly cannot. But at least, have some patience.”  

The Inspector looked perplexed but soon recovered and replied with ‘Sorry.’ He motioned for her to continue while Dr. Awasthi stood in a corner observing their conversation.

“Thank you,” Anandita smiled, “The guy who was dragging me across the floor pushed me against a wall due to which my forehead started bleeding. Just as I was about to stand back up, one of those guys hit my back with a bat so terribly that I fell to the ground not being able to move. Another guy came with a similar mask on but due to some reason his mask slipped down a bit and I saw an ‘X’ mark o the right side of his forehead. I was subconscious but with the little consciousness left, I saw them leave. After a few minutes, I heard a cell phone ring shrilly, I prayed to God asking Him to kill me because I didn’t want to live anymore. I did not want to see another day, I was sick of the bullying and the teasing. As I was having all these thoughts, I became unconscious.”

“After that?” the Inspector asked, mechanically.

“After that?”  Anandita asked perplexed, “After that, I woke up in this hospital ward a little while ago.” She tried to laugh.

“I am so sorry,” the Inspector said, “I am making the same mistake. My next logical question should’ve been who brought you here?” “Yes,” Anandita replied, “It was Sameer; a boy from my class. He is also my best friend, Tanya’s younger brother.” “Ok,” the Inspector replied, “I will speak to Sameer about the rest. You go on and continue to rest.”

The Inspector left with his team leaving behind Dr. Awasthi.

Silent Screams(Part 10)

Anandita is surrounded by her parents on one side and her sister on the other. She was happy that they were there. She didn’t know what to say to them because she hadn’t expected it to end up in the way that it did. “I am just grateful to God that you are out of danger. For once, I was so happy for you, for the fact that you have friends you like you for being you and look how that turned out.” As she was about to continue further, she looked at Mr. Ram who was already giving her the stare. She silenced herself and smiled at her daughter lovingly and hugged her as lightly as she could. Anandita could clearly see tears in her mother’s eyes and even in her sister’s eyes. They expressed their emotions usually so it was normal. But the moment she looked at her father and saw tears in her father’s eyes, she couldn’t hold back her own tears. Anandita was crying, no she was bawling her eyes out. Her parents had to calm her down with a glass of water. During this hullaballoo, the nurse came into the room and was about to ask them to leave when she was the pleading in Anandita’s eyes. The nurse just stood in one corner, refusing to leave.

After about ten minutes, Anandita heard a knock on her door and looked up. She was shocked to see her best friend, best senior, Tanya standing at the door and her brother Sameer stealing glances from behind her.

“Tanya,” Anandita said with a smile. “How are you feeling now?” Tanya asked. “I am better than how I was found.” She then turned to Sameer who was still trying to use Tanya as his shield and said, “Thank you Sameer. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here.” Sameer first looked at Anandita with wide eyes and then tried to say something. But nothing came out of his mouth.  He cleared his throat and tried again, This time, he said in a very low voice, “I should’ve done this long ago. I mean I should’ve protected you from these bullies right from the beginning, right from when it started. I should have stood up for you against them. But, no! I stood at a side and looked at you being tortured all these years. I am sorry for all that. I know that no number of apologies is going to cover up for what I did, but I hope you have it in you to forgive me. Anandita’s mother felt betrayed. All this time, who she thought was her daughter’s protector had actually a part, even if not actively, in this condition of her daughter. She was about to say something to Sameer in anger. Gauging her mother’s mood, Anandita said, “It is ok Sameer. You were being just like any other school kid who is worried about their social status. And I am not saying this in a wrong way. What’s in the past, leave it there. Today, at this moment, I am here and alive because of you.” She saw how unconvinced Sameer looked and let out a big huff of breath, as she continued, “See, let me put it this way. If you wanted, just like other times, you coud’ve just left me there bleeding and unattended worrying about your social status. But you didn’t. Knowing fully well that saving me could definitely affect your position in the school’s social chain, you helped me out and I am grateful for that.”

 By the end of her ‘lecture’, she noticed that Tanya had this peculiar look on her face. “How?” she asked when she was out of her trance. “How do you manage to do that, Anandita?” Tanya asked. “Manage to do what Tanya?” Anandita asked perplexed. “How do you manage to… manage to… you know… be so.. so… nice even after how he behaved with you,” Tanya finished, amazed. “Oh that is simple,” Anandita answered, “I know how it feels to be on this side. And I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that even if it means me being alone.”

“Ok,” they heard a voice from the corner of the room. “It is time for her to rest. You can meet up with her later, may be tomorrow,” the nurse said from the corner. “Bye Anandita. Take care and rest well,” Tanya said as they turned to leave. Anandita’s parents also left soon after. The nurse fed dinner and the medicines. As Anadita was getting ready to sleep, she heard shuffling before she saw a troupe of police enter her room followed by Dr. Awasthi.

Silent Screams (Part 9)

The next day had dawned. The sun’s rays were shining brightly through the windows of Anandita’s hospital room. Anandita slowly opened her eyes, the sun rays directly falling on her eyes. The nurse noticed movements in Anandita and hurried to get Dr. Awasthi. Within seconds, Dr. Awasthi was standing right next to her, checking her vitals.

“Everything is ok,” she said, “You’ll be fine with passage of time. You’ve be careful with your movements because your bones haven’t healed yet.” “Who are you?” Anandita asked in a croaked voice. “Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself,” she said, “I am Dr. Awasthi and I will be treating you till you are hail and hearty.” A slight smile was about to appear on Anandita’s face. But it dropped as soon as it had come. Dr. Awasthi quickly instructed the nurse to give her the medicines. When she heard Anandita groaning in pain she asked the nurse to give her pain killer too.

“M.. My par… parents?” Anandita asked in a hoarse voice. “They’ll be delighted,” Dr. Awasthi said with a pleasant smile, “I’ll send them in.” She turns to the nurse and instructs, “Make sure that they are not creating chaos and leave after a while. She needs her rest.” Dr. Awasthi leaves as the nurse nods.

As she came out of the room, she was surrounded by Anandita’s parents and Tanya. Sameer stood at a distance and tried to listen in. “Mr. Ram, you and your wife can go and meet Anandita. But please do not bombard her with questions about her attack. She needs your love and support to become fully well.” “Ok, doctor,” Anandita’s father, Mr. Ram said.  Just as she was about to leave she turned around and said, “I will have to involve the police in this sir. I am going to call them right now. I will ask them to come only tomorrow as Anandita needs the rest.” Mr. Ram simply nodded and proceeded towards his daughter with his wife and her sister followed suit.

Dr. Awasthi hurried back to her cabin and called up the police. She informed everything to the Inspector and asked them to arrive the next day. “I am sorry ma’am,” the Inspector said, “If the victim is awake, we’ll have to speak to her immediately and take her statement so that we can take action as soon as possible.” “Oh,” Dr. Awasthi said, “I don’t have much of a say in this, do I?? After a pause, she continued, “But, Inspector, she’s in a very delicate state, both emotionally and physically. IF she does not wish to answer the questions you ask, please do not coax her.” “Sure Mo..,” the inspector answered, “I mean, sure doctor.”

With a slight smile, Dr. Awasthi disconnected the call and her eyes pondered towards her bag. She pulled out both the pieces of paper and was wondering which one to read first. She first read the one that Sameer gave her. It said:

Who’s to blame?

You’re fat

You’re quiet

You wear glasses

Who’s to blame?

You don’t raise your voice

No one wants to talk to you

You are nowhere in the social food chain

Who’s to blame?

You’re scared

You’re nervous

You’re anxious

Who’s to blame?

You’re to blame

Girl,

You’re to blame.

A lone tear dropped on the paper as she finished reading it. ‘What is this child going through?’ Dr, Awasthi thought out loud, ‘Something needs to be done about this and soon.’

Sucking in a deep breath, she opened the next piece of paper. She had mixed emotions. The fact that it was normal for every girl to have such a thought made a smile. But, the last line saddened her a lot.

The paper said:

He looks at her as if she is the reason for his existence

He looks at her because she is the only one, he wants

He looks at her as if she has the power over him that no one else has

He looks at her as if the rest of the world does not exist for him

He looks at her thinking of how they were meant to be

He looks into her eyes and can see his world in them

And I,

I am helpless

I can’t do anything about this

He is so much head over heels for her

That he can’t see,

He can’t see me,

Who looks at him just the way he looks at her.

But then again,

Why will he?

I am the fat, ugly girl, after all.

Silent Screams (Part 8)

Anandita’s father ran outside to inform to his family, Sameer and Tanya that Anandita was out of danger. Though what he said next broke everyone, especially, Sameer. He said, “She is completely out of danger but…” He took a long pause which was scaring everyone. “But what?” her mother asked exasperated. “But,” her father continued, “The bones of her right hand and left ankle will take time to heal.”  “Thank God,” Sameer whispered. Her father turned to him and said, “I am sorry for having behaved that way. I was just worried for my daughter.” “We completely understand, uncle,” Tanya piped in with a slight smile, “You know me, uncle and aunty. And he’s my brother. Please trust that he won’t do any such thing as hurting her to this level.”

Throughout the meeting with Dr. Arun, there was only one thing going on in Dr. Awasthi’s mind- ‘Who was the girl?’ And ‘why did she feel such a connect towards her?’  She was internally very happy now that she will be able to see whatever was there on the paper. IN her heart somehow, she knew that what she was doing was wrong. She shouldn’t be seeing something that was found in someone else’s pocket. But, she was curious. She wanted to know. So, she decided to stay mum about the piece of paper.

When she entered the cabin, she saw two people sitting at her table- a girl and a boy. She wondered who they were as she silently walked towards them.  “Yes?” She asked, “Did you need anything?” “Yes, we needed to talk about Anandita,” said the boy, “Hi. I am Sameer.” “And I am Tanya, his sister” the girl said. “How are you related to Anandita? And before you ask for anything personal or classified information, let me tell you that I cannot disclose any information to you about any of my patients.” “We just wanted to ask,” Sameer said, “is she going to be okay?” “Yes,” Dr. Awasthi said, “She’s going to be fine. May I know how are both of you related to her?” “I am sorry,” Tanya said, “we didn’t introduce ourselves properly. I am her best friend and senior. I passed out of school few years ago. This is my brother. He is Anandita’s classmate. He was the one who found her in this condition.” “Oh,” Dr. Awasthi said thoughtfully, “did you find anything?” “I am sorry,” Sameer asked, confused. Dr. Awasthi cleared her throat and asked, “Did you find anything around her or with her when you spotted her first or when you were bringing her to the hospital?” “I don’t think I should be sharing any of that with you,” Sameer said a little miffed. “So,” Tanya turned to her brother and stated, “you did find something.” Sameer remained silent. “See,” Dr. Awasthi tried to explain, “I am the doctor who operated on and will further be treating Anandita. This, definitely, is a case of physical abuse. The police is going to be involved. And I will need to know if there is anything that she had on her or with her that isn’t there with her now.”

Her explanation made sense to him. His sister was still staring at him as though she could see through his soul. Sighing heavily, he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out the tattered piece of paper that he had found and read. He, then, placed it on the table and sid it towards Dr. Awasthi. Without a word, she carefully picked the piece of paper and kept it in her hand bag, just where the other piece of paper was. She knew how to differentiate between the two; because the piece of paper that she had found has blood stains on it as it was found a little later, as compared to the one that was found by Sameer.

“Both of you look tired,” Dr. Awasthi said, “you should go home and rest. Anandita will be fine. She needs rest.” Nodding their heads, they left her cabin. After informing Anandita’s father that they would visit the next day, they left to go home. Their parents were awaiting a long explanation.

Silent Screams (Part 7)

The ticking of the clock was the only sound that echoed through the corridors. Every minute seemed to be very long. Anandita’s parents and her sister were sitting outside the operation theatre on one side while Tanya and Sameer sat on the other. Everyone was worried. There was an eerie silence only their heavy breathing was heard other than the ticking of the clock. They feared for Anandita’s life.

The colour of the bulb outside the operation theatre changed from red to green and a doctor emerged out of the theatre. Anandita’s dad ran to the doctor to know how his daughter was doing.

The doctor quietly asked him to follow her to her cabin. She then handed him a glass of water that was lying on her table. After Anandita’s father calmed down a little, the doctor spoke in a firm and calm voice, “You have nothing to worry about. Though the bones of her right hand and left ankle will take time to heal, Your daughter is out of danger. She needs complete rest.” “Thank you doctor…..,” Anandita’s  father said with tears in his eyes. “Dr. Shibani Awasthi,” she completed.

While Anandita’s father ran outside to give the good news to his family members and consequently to Sameer and Tanya, Dr. Awasthi sat at her table and pondered on what had just happened. As she pushed back her glasses, she thought about how the girl that she operated on was somehow special to her. She had never felt any kind of emotional connection towards any of her patients in thirty years of her service as a doctor. But this time it was different. She didn’t know how but there was a certain pull that she had towards the girl was lying there unconscious. For the first time, in so many years, her hands shivered as she picked the surgeon’s knife to operate on the girl. She was still swearing at the thought of it and was glad that it was over.  

After a few minutes passed by, she opened the drawer on her right, picked the photo which was kept facing downwards, looked at it and smiled. For her, it seemed like it happened only yesterday. She was brought back out of her reverie as she heard footsteps outside her cabin. She quickly placed the photo back into the drawer and closed it with a loud thud. She then went on to straighten her navy-blue coloured cotton saree and her doctor’s coat. She put her hands into both her pockets and felt something in her right pocket. Pulling out a tattered piece of paper, she remembered how the nurse said that she had found the paper in Anandita’s clothes while changing  her into the green coloured hospital gown.

Just as she was about to start reading it, the ward boy, Raju, knocked at her door and said that she was being summoned by Dr. Arun Vaidhyanathan for her opinion on a case relating to another patient. She went to her table and carefully placed the tattered paper in the side pocket of her hand bag so as not to lose it. She, then followed Raju, out to meet Dr. Arun.

Silent Screams (Part 6)

Anandita's mother was in complete shock.  She thought that for once her daughter,  her introverted shy quiet daughter,  had for once,  found friends in school.  She thought that Anandita finally  had friends.  Anandita's mother was very happy  when she came to know that Anandita got a call from her friend. She was bursting  with joy,  more so that she even shared the  same with Anandita's  father.

Now,  she wished that she had never let Anandita go, praying  to God for a miracle  to save her girl,  her daughter.   While her mother was silently  sobbing,  her dad was in a frenzy. He seemed like he would bring the whole hospital  down. All he could see was red.  "I'll bring the hospital  down if something happens to my daughter,"  he all but threatened the doctor  in a low hoarse whisper.

As he turned around,  he saw Sameer and marched towards him, determined to get answers.
"I do not want you to say more than I ask for," Anandita's  father said,  "What happened?"

With tears in his eyes,  Sameer explained  everything.  "I know only what I saw uncle,"  Sameer said, "I don't know what actually led to all this." "Hm, " her father let out the breath that he was holding, " I hope what you're saying is the truth son.  I am holding you to it." "Yes s..,"  Sameer was about to reply,  by the time they heard someone shouting.  It was a female voice,  "Sameer,  where are you?"  Sameer ran to her and hugged her tightly.

He didn't care that he looked like a small child right now.  He felt guilty.  Guilty of this happening  to Anandita,  Guilty of him not having done anything to save her,  Guilty of him not being able to stand up against the bully.  He knew that he was a coward. He did not have the guts to look at himself in the mirror without getting angry at himself.

Looking at her brother's condition,  Tanya was moved.  She was satisfied that at least now that he was wrong. That he should've been there for her.  If not as a friend,  then at least as a fellow human. She remembered how,  when she was in school, she had stopped every bully from getting even near Anandita. She had introduced herself to Anandita as Taman a,  her official name. She always had a soft corner for her,  like it was her responsibility to protect  Anandita.  When she had passed out of the school,  she had specially instructed Sameer to protect Anandita.  They had a massive fight because of this.  He had blatantly disagreed to do any such thing. Their fight went to be so serious,  that, he insisted that Tanya was lesbian.

They sat quietly for what felt like years.  It seemed as if time stood still. The silence gave way to the loudly beating hearts clearly expressing their fears.

Silent Screams (Part 5)

Sameer waited outside the operation theatre as Anandita was taken inside in a hurry. Sitting down, he remembered about the paper he had crumpled in a hurry. He finally took it out to read.  It read:

Who’s to blame?

You’re fat

You’re quiet

You wear glasses

Who’s to blame?

You don’t raise your voice

No one wants to talk to you

You are nowhere in the social food chain

Who’s to blame?

You’re scared

You’re nervous

You’re anxious

Who’s to blame?

You’re to blame

Girl,

You’re to blame.

Note: I wish I could change myself. Wish I could look better to fit the society. Wish I could act better to fit the society. I just wish everything was okay.

A shiver ran down his spine. Every line that she wrote had some pain attached to it. He felt guiltier, with every line that he read. He, somehow, felt partially responsible for this condition of hers. At this point, he wished that he wouldn’t have stood quietly by the side as his friends made fun of her. He wished he had taken this up to the higher authorities. As these thoughts were crossing through his mind, a tear slipped down his cheek.

Someone wiped the tear on his face. HE looked up to see Tanya standing there.”Where is she? Tanya asked. By the time, he could answer Anandita’s family came running towards the operation theatre. “What... has... happened.. to... to.... my daughter?” Anandita’s mother asked breathlessly. Sameer got her to sit down, offered a glass of water to her and narrated all that he had seen.